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How hard should we push our child to excel at school?
by Dennis O’Brien Not as hard as you may think. Parents of gifted children know that schools which fail to meet their children’s academic needs are one of the main reasons their children underachieve, first as students, later as adults. But parents who care too much and push too hard also cause gifted children to fail to excel. Passionate, misinformed parents push their children to get top grades and raise their SAT scores in the mistaken belief that this will assure access to top colleges and guarantee a successful professional career. But this is a blueprint for constricting a talented child’s potential, not a recipe for success. The combination of parents pushing children to strive after the wrong goals and schools failing to meet their special needs can be a lethal combination for gifted students. Many underachieve. Many fail to develop their potential to make a serious impact on the world. Some dropout. Here’s what parents can do to help a talented child thrive. • Encourage your child’s love of learning, not high-scoring. There are many ways parents can nurture a child’s love of learning, but emphasizing grades and test scores are not among them. Nationally respected educator and researcher Sally Reis contrasts "creative, productive giftedness" which leads to significant achievement in life with "schoolhouse giftedness" which promotes rote learning and limits a child’s horizons to what it takes to get the grade. Reis, the principal investigator for the federally funded National Research Center on the Gifted and Talented, presented her findings at a conference on gifted students at the University of Missouri-St. Louis recently. Gifted Resource Council cosponsored the conference. A commitment to nurturing "creative, productive giftedness" is one reason that GRC does not disclose scores or rankings for any of the competitions in Academic Challenge Cup. • Show your interest in what your child is learning. Appropriate questions communicate your values and nurture your child’s own interest in learning. Instead of opening a conversation by asking, "How well did you do on your history test?" ask, "What interests you about ancient Egypt? Would you like to learn more about the significance for everyday life between the gods Hapi and Hathor? How could you do that?" • Encourage your child to develop personal interests that go beyond the school curriculum. This does not mean encouraging your child to join as many clubs and activities as possible "because it will look good on your college resume." It does mean nurturing your child’s academic and non-academic interests, encouraging exploration and supporting risk-taking. Gifted students often do need encouragement to try something different, especially something which does not lend itself to easily identifying who’s the best. "Interests matter, perhaps more than anything else," Reis said. "Research indicates that the ability to have and sustain interests, including interests in several different areas, may be the best predictor of high levels of adult creative productivity." • Encourage group activities as well as solitary pursuits. Many academically talented children do quite well working alone and, when asked to team up with others, expect to dominate because of their ability. Not knowing how to cooperate seriously limits a child’s chances for success in life. That is why all Gifted Resource Council activities stress cooperation, teamwork and exploration of many options and differing opinions. Even GRC’s Academic Challenge Cup (a friendly competition) recognizes students for their success in working with others. • Encourage your child to participate in enrichment activities outside of school. "Get children involved in challenging Saturday courses if they are not challenged in their own schools—as so many are not," Reis said. Saturday Learning Labs are excellent opportunities for a child to be exposed to different topics that may develop into special interests. A child could take as many as four of these high-interest, hands-on 90-minute classes during the course of a school year. • Encourge your child to pursue non-academic interests. A passion for photography, dance, art, music or tinkering with electronics can also help a child develop the character traits which lead to "creative, productive giftedness" and success in life. Some passions lead directly to career choices. Others simply teach a child to plan, to attack a project aggressively, to persist and master a challenging interest for the inherent pleasure it brings them. Traits like these are better predictors of success than test scores or grades. • Encourage your child to pursue passions in as much depth as possible. "Helping your child develop and sustain passionate interests is one of the most important things parents of gifted students can do," said Reis. GRC’s Summer Academies offer children opportunities to explore an area of interest in depth over a two-week and, in some cases, over a four-week period. The Academies are designed to challenge students to ask questions, research answers and possibilities, and produce a culminating demonstration product while working cooperatively with others. • Allow your child’s interests to change. An early interest in animal husbandry need not mean that a child should begin preparing for a career in veterinary medicine. It does mean she has found a motive that will help her develop skills, positive character and learning traits while preparing for the future. For more information regarding Gifted Resource Council, please call the GRC office at 314-962-5920. |
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